By Kate Guest, Jan 1 2016 03:00AM

Blue Monday is reportedly the most depressing day of the year. Originally identified in 2005 by academic Cliff Arnall. The calculation considers a variety of factors including wintry weather, debt levels post Xmas, failed New Year’s resolutions, lack of motivation and returning to work. It’s also the time of year when many divorce proceedings start with twice as many divorces being filed as the second most popular month of September.

Interest in house rentals increase as couples make the break from the marital home. Good news for landlords but increased heartache and stress for couples and their families.

According to some, the above is pseudoscience however, I am sure that at least one of the above factors will resonate with every one of us.

So, how do go about feeling good not only on blue Monday but every other day of the week, the month and the year? Well, feeling happy is merely a ‘state’ that we find ourselves in and for most of us that state is fleeting, increasing and decreasing in intensity depending on what happens in our daily lives. For some people, ‘happy’ or ‘content’ is their default mode. For others not so. How much notice we take of our happy moments and what contributed to them, can influence the rest of the day. Have you ever got up, banged your toe, spilt the cup of tea you’d made, tripped over the cat and then expected and maybe even said out loud that you expected the rest of the day to be just as bad or worse? Then it probably will be. It’s like setting your default mode for the day to ‘go wrong’. If you can recognise any of this, you can choose to change it.

Neuro linguistic Coaching with Clinical hypnotherapy can help you notice what is not working well for you in life, how you can change that and how you can make a positive difference in your world. We work as facilitators of change, our mission statement is ‘Helping People Create Positive Change’

Having understood what the client wants to achieve, NLP strategies or techniques are used to create new behaviour. The hypnosis embeds this. You may have heard the saying ‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.’ Make the decision to have what you want in life NOW.

Some people have a fear of hypnosis so let me explain what it is and what it is not. Clinical hypnosis is not clucking like a chicken, it is not stage hypnosis for entertainment. Clinical hypnosis or trance is simply being in a very relaxed and receptive state. The person is fully conscious at all times, if a fire alarm went off the person would respond to it immediately. A clinician works ethically with the clients best interest and outcome in view at all times.

Now to explain what NLP is. Lets look at it in simple terms. Neuro – the mind, what we think, what we create in our minds. Linguistic – what we hear ourselves say and our ‘self’ talk and the type of language we use. Programming – like a computer we are ‘programmed’ from an early age. We learn certain behaviours. No one is born with a fear of spiders, snakes or even mans best friend. We learn to have a fear based on a real or imagined experience. So what then? NLP coaching and clinical hypnotherapy can help the client to change behaviour. A spider real or imagined is no longer something to be feared (unless it’s a dangerous species and healthy caution is advised, less likely in this country but certainly relevant in other countries).

It is of course possible to help oneself using CD’s and books, the advantage of using a therapist however is the ability of the therapist to tailor the session very specifically to the clients needs. It is not a one size fits all therapy. We always aim to help the client find his or her inner resources and strengths. One person might say ‘These things always happen to me (we’re now back to the early morning stubbed toe, spilt tea and poor cat!) and feel sad or depressed. Another person might say ‘That’s an experience I would rather not have had and what can I learn from it?’ Think of people you know famous or local who have overcome major life changing events. The injured soldier who becomes an award winning Para Olympic athlete, the abused child who goes on to become a rich and famous woman in the media (Oprah Winfrey), the inventor who never referred to his experiments as failures. Edison did not say he had failed in his many experiments, they were simply attempts that had not yet worked.

To quote Einstein – ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’ Do something different, change your behaviour, get the results you want.

Blue Monday and any other time in our lives can be mildly annoying to soul destroying, it’s how we deal with it, how we CHOOSE to deal with it, what decisions we then make that makes the difference to our future lives.

What will you choose………..?

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Kate Guest - Results Coach

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